Friday, February 24, 2012

If you were a sleep I'd be a dream... whereever's your heart there I'd be...

I am sitting here at my teacher desk surrounded by piles of things that could/should/need to be done.  Motivation has been absent from me this past week.  There are probably several different factors causing this to happen...
  1. Exhaustion... I think I've hit my plateau of how much my body, mind, and emotions can handle.  It's exhausting, rewarding yes... but exhausting, to be a teacher.  ESPECIALLY a first year teacher.  Especially a first year teacher living 4000 miles away from her norm.  I can't just drive to starbucks to get my caffeine buzz early in the morning.  I can't go to the local gym, unless you count the gymnasium with NO workout equipment.  I can't just drive to my boyfriend or best friend's place to have a good vent or cry... But... I soldier on.  I keep late hours, work my mind, body, and soul to the breaking point and now it's hitting me.  But a weekend of sleep and productivity should help a bit.
  2. "Spring Break".... To me this is kind of funny, because our spring break is a 4 day weekend that is in the middle of March, and the tundra, rivers, and ground will still be absolutely frozen solid.  The kids can feel it approaching and so can I.  I'm counting down the days because once it starts that's when Nate will make his way up here.  So excited!  But alas, prepping for his visit and the anticipation is causing me to stress and keep busy.
  3. Lent... Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE my God.  I love my Savior.  I love being a Christian... but it really is difficult to give up something in remembrance for Christ.  I decided because I signed up for a 5K this summer (The Color Run), I will give up my biggest comfort up here.  Junk food.  I haven't had chips, candy, or fried foods since Wednesday.  Easy for some, maybe... but up here junk food and processed foods are the only real readily available options.  Plus I am one that tends to eat my feelings. Happy... I eat.  Sad... I eat.  Mad... I eat.  :)  Get the picture?  So my body seems to be rebelling from not having the constant sugar/carb intake it's used to.  But it's worth it. Every time I have the urge to eat the M&Ms sitting on my desk for my kiddos I'm reminded of Christ.  Candy or Savior?  I'd say Savior wins out every time.
Apologies for the whiny post.  Kind of felt like readers needed an accurate account of how things are going here.

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