Saturday, September 1, 2012

I tried to live this life on my own.....

It's September 1st.  I've been a 2nd year teacher for about 3 weeks now.  Does it feel any different?  No not really...  but at the same time... it feels absolutely amazing. 

Last year around this time I felt like I was barely treading water.  Spent some nights until midnight working on lessons, grading, organizing, etc.  This isn't what I was expecting.  Several times I thought I was inferior as a teacher and sometimes as an adult...  I called home and cried more than a few times.  I wasn't sure I was going to make it.  I thought, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?!  I thought I was 'MEANT to be a teacher'."

A year later, I am sitting here, doing much of the same things.  I still stay later than other teachers.  I still spend most of my weekends lesson planning and grading.  I still call home occasionally, but without tears because of my classroom.  I still have times where I don't know what to do, but I have accepted that it's okay to not know everything right now.  I walk with my head high.  I'm still treading water, but it's getting just a little bit easier to stay afloat. I know WHO holds my future and "He has plans for me... plans to prosper me and not harm me.  Plans for hope and a future."

Here's to a new year.  With new adventures.  With new memories.  Here's to the best school year yet!

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